The way we remember us
by AmyDiNozzo
Summary: Lieutenant Duckling, no spoilers. "She knows she's unfair, that she's acting like some spoilt child, but her whole body aches for him, for Killian, and her eyes are burning and she hates the sadness she sees in his, and oh she wants to hold him until everything disappears but them, and they are so young and this is already the end." Lieutenant Jones on his way to neverland.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, name's Amy.**

 **So here is a two shot, as in i'm going to post the next part soon, lieutenant duckling. No curse, princess emma, and lieutenant Jones who has to go to Neverland and leave his love behind. They are at the docks obviously.**

 **All i Ask by Adele was on repeat while i was writting, which is why you will find some quotes of the songs in my text.**

 **Hope you'll enjoy it :)**

* * *

 **" _Some loves been made to exist, and not to happen._ _"_**

* * *

 _Don't get me wrong, I know there is no tomorrow..._

It's stupid really, the way she's clinging to his hand, with all of her strength, which quite honestly isn't a lot right now.

There may even be some tears crashing against their reunited palms, and yet she couldn't care less.

Because he's leaving. And of course, she has known since the beginning that it would inevitably happen. That he would be called to take part of the Navy's crazy adventure.

And she would have stayed here, the lonely princess, waiting for him, counting the days, until she wouldn't anymore because it'd hurt too much.

Because numbers would be knives into her heart, and it would bleed, bleed.

Her throat awfully dry, she raises her chin and glances at him between her wet eyelashes, deep green meeting the calm of a resigned ocean. And something breaks inside her. He has completely accepted his fate.

He won't fight to stay with her, _"orders are orders love, and Liam is counting on me_ " and it's killing her because she has no fucking right to be this selfish with him.

But you see he was, _is,_ her special someone, her choice, the one she would have followed straight to hell for the pleasure of being by his side, and he wasn't choosing her.

She knows she's unfair, that she's acting like some spoilt child, but her whole body aches for him, for _Killian_ , and her eyes are burning and she hates the sadness she sees in his, and oh she wants to hold him until everything disappears but them, and they are so young and this is already the end.

"We'll meet again, my love." He whispers, _traitor_ , his oceans so peaceful, tremendously in love with her despite everything.

She nods.

(He's lying, and he's not even trying to hide it.)

She gives him a small smile, her fingertips cupping his unshaved cheek, tracing his jawline.

Her eyes, however, are screaming, something terrible, guttural, trying to get rid of this pain in her chest, of this feeling of suffocation.

"Take care of you, my highness."

He kisses her free palm, leaving her skin burnt, and god she hates him for that.

For being his amazing charming self, for the way she's left wondering why she's holding her breath, and why the hell is her heart beating this fast, and _god killian i can't lose you_.

The worst part is that they both know this is their farewell, that they won't ever meet again, because life will get in the way, because he's a lieutenant and she's a princess, and yet, neither one of them is brave enough to say goodbye, to murmur " _adieu mon amour*_ " because it's just too much for their young hearts.

"I'll come back soon, and Liam will marry us, and your father will beat me up for making you fall in love with me."

And it breaks and it breaks, and drops are rolling down her face, and why is breathing suddenly so painful ?

Why does he have to lie so much ?

"Second star to the right, right ?" she asks, and it's cruel the way her voice shakes and she feels so small and weak.

 _Let this be the way we remember us._

"Yes princess, but don't worry, nowhere is far enough for me to stop thinking of your pretty face and your charming temper."

She laughs and it sounds horribly like a cry.

"Well then goodbye, Lieutenant Jones. I quite liked you after all."

She wants to run and to hold him forever and to never see his useless handsome face again, and yet she stands still, mortified, awfully in love.

"Until we meet again, Emma of Misthaven. You are by far the loveliest sight in the whole Enchanted Forest."

"Pretty talk is all you know, Killian Jones." She reproaches, and fails, as it sounds awfully like a declaration of love.

She's not good with words, she's not like him, she's harsh, but the way she's holding his hand for dear life is the louder "i love you" he has ever heard.

And then comes the time to let her go, to untie carefully each of her fingers around his palm, and watch her chin shiver, and die a little inside too.

He could have said something, anything, to reassure her, to lie once again, but he just puts his lips over hers and kisses her. He presses their mouths together until it hurts more than down there in his chest, and finds out that it's never going to hurt this much, his heart sinking forever.

 _Please remember me._

He holds her tight in his arms one last time, his face burried in her neck, to make her forget he's crying.

*farewell my love

* * *

 **Also a big thank to enchanted-keys on tumblr for correcting me 3**

 **Hope you liked it and see you soon for the next part :)**

 **Amy.**


	2. Part 2

**Hii,**

 **Here is the next part, hope you'll like it :)**

 **Big thank you to the two lovelies who left me a review and to the people who followed the story :3**

 **Enjoy !**

* * *

 _ **"Angry, and half in love with you, and tremendously sorry, I turned away." Fitzgerald.**_

* * *

She remembered him in the tender blue of a fresh spring sky.

She remembered him in the loyalty of her father, the stubbornness of her mother.

She remembered his bright smile in the mouth of the most ingenious child.

She heard his laughter in a field of middlemist flowers.

Smelled his scent in the shirt he left for her (in the shirt she ordered him to leave for her).

Anywhere and anything seemed to be a tribute to the lost sailor.

To be quite honest, she remembered him in the slightest of details, from the length of his luxurious eyelashes to the mole on the fragile skin of his masculine neck, to the exact shade of his eyes, this light blue straining to a gentle grey, and how timidly he acted around her at the beginning, and the way his voice could shake because of the emotion, and how brave he was her dear sailor, how much he was wearing his heart on his sleeves and how much she loved him and craved his presence.

She remembered everything, until she didn't.

(Until the shirt didn't smell like him anymore.)

Because she was human and not seeing someone for two years left you wondering how their voice used to sound like.

.

"Long live the queen of Misthaven !"

The whole kingdome was euphoric, cheering their new queen, their beautiful queen graced by long golden hair and eyes as deeply green as they seemed sad.

The king and the queen had just passed away, dying at the same time as they were sharing a heart, _they were true love_ , and it had left their daughter stoical. Not because she didn't care about them, rather because the pain was just too strong, too acute, just too much for one person to handle. Because truth is she had stopped breathing ten years ago when the Jewel of the Realms had been taken down by pirates.

Since then, princess Emma of Misthaven, spitfire, the bravest of the knight, born of true love, appeared to be only a wandering soul.

A little bit as if Killian Jones, by dying, had killed her too.

And yet there she was, wearing a crimson dress, stunning crowned head. Saving appearances. Extremely refined, their queen, of a pure beauty, and there were even some rest of childhood in the gentle curves of her lips, in this bright smile, the only thing he left her, and she smelled like vanilla and rum and of a great sorrow.

Actually, and it was terrible to say that, she stinked broken dreams and empty promises and the memory just a little bit too haunting of a loved ghost.

It was harsh, all of this misery, and it quite frankly stung the kingdom's eyes.

.

"Why hello _Swan_ , you make one hell of a Queen I must say." Mocked a voice behind her, using the surname that he, _Killian_ , used to call her by.

Oh the sneaky bastard.

She had hoped all day that he wouldn't show up, that he would keep his stupid mouth shut and spare her all of his little games.

Well, actually, he didn't come to the official party. No no, he had to wait for her to come back to her room, when her rigid smile had faded away and left her face colorless.

And there she was, glancing at him with her stormy eyes, and he was _smiling_ , all handsome charms out in this black leather number of his.

She was _oh_ so angry at him, and it wasn't even because of his despicable person, but more as she couldn't glance at him and not see her deceased lover.

"Hook, don't you have somebody else to bother today ?"

It could have been a friendly remark, a joke between old pals, but from her lips it sounded like a death threat.

And he was bloody used to it, smiling harder, and there was something upsetting in the way his lips curled. He knew how much he was hurting her right now, by just being there, by just reminding her of everything they could have been, should have been, everything he sent into the fire ten years ago as his brother granted him his last breath.

"Oh but you are by far my favorite enemy, Swan." he hissed almost tenderly, savouring the emotions on her exhausted face.

He saw bits of his long gone Emma in the mature queen in front of him, in the way she was biting her mouth to hold some broken words, he saw bits of the girl he left behind and never came back for.

How could he have ? He hadn't even managed to find himself.

"It's been ten years Hook, when will you move on ?"

Oh, how cruel she was. How _desperately_ she wanted to get rid of him.

Facing Hook was confronting herself. It was life putting in front of her everything she had wanted so badly and taking it away at the same time.

It was sharing true love and the deepest hatred.

Hook had killed Killian, but Hook was a part of Killian, and by so she couldn't prevent herself from loving him.

"Don't lecture me Swan, you haven't moved on either. In fact, the only reason why you're allowing me to talk to you is because you're secretly hoping, _you my strong lass_ , that Killian Jones will come back from the dead and love you until the end of time."

She opened her mouth, ready to destroy him in the blink of an eye, and yet said nothing.

Stared absolutely wrecked at his tormented oceans, her lips moving without a sound, knowing so well that he was awfully right.

"Oh come on Swan, don't give me that look. Like you would die if I said one more word."

The first not so vicious phrase he had said to her in years, the slightest of concern piercing through his arrogant tone.

The Queen of Misthaven sighed profoundly.

"We are pathetic." She finally whispered, resigned.

She knew she caught him off guard in the glimpse of Killian Jones she saw for just an instant on his handsome face. She discerned the brave lieutenant, the loyal friend, the tender lover, the lost boy.

They stared at each other, two meters barely separating them from each other and yet an ocean of unsaid things between them.

 _You should have stayed. We would have made it. I needed you and you weren't there. Why didn't you come back ? Why did you chose darkness over our love ?_

 _ **What made you believe that you couldn't be saved ?**_

Ten years had passed, and they had managed to ruin everything.

Ten years ago Killian had lost his brother, Liam, and he hadn't told anything to Emma. He had wanted to protect her, had killed her with his silence instead. She had discovered later that her Killian, her hero, had gone into a suicide mission to avenge the death of his brother.

She had learnt that their love wasn't enough, that the promise of a future together hadn't been enough to keep him from the allure of darkness.

She had hated him of course, for not believing in them, for underestimating the depth of her feelings for him.

Thing is, he had gotten his revenge, he had killed his unmerciful king, and had lived since as a fugitive. Never lasting more than a day in a realm, always on the bow of the Jolly Roger.

He had come one night, not to ask for her forgiveness, barely to confess that he hadn't stopped loving her. That he had wished she would have been there, with him, when he lost one of his true love. That maybe her love, her presence, would have been enough to keep him alive.

She had listened. All teary eyed, a lump in her throat, heart beating loudly in her chest.

And then, she had asked him to leave.

Begged him to never come back, because it was just too painful and she wanted to remember Killian as her brave lieutenant and not _this_ -...not as everything he would have hated to be.

He did not make any promise this time.

Nevertheless, Killian Jones never came back.

Instead, Captain Hook couldn't help himself but say hello to Emma of Misthaven whenever he was in town.

" This is just another hello from an old friend" he eventually uttered softly.

A bittersweet smile on his face, he made his way to her, staring at her with those anguished eyes of his, and he gently squeezed her hand, leaving her blown away.

"I'm sorry about your parents, Emma."

She gasped, turning around to face him, a desperate _"Killian"_ escaping her lips,...

And then he was gone.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, see you soon :)**

 **Amy.**


End file.
